How do you feel about your birthday? Dread for aging? Happy for partying? Sad for lack of love and friends, who are all dispersed? Nostalgic, because you are older and wiser? Moody and fretful because you wish not everyone would fuss about you so? Bursting with enthusiasm for the love that is showered on you so unconditionally?
Birthdays usually come with many mixed emotions. And depending if you are in your teens or 20’s, 30’s or 60’s the moods it manifests itself with also varies. Sure it is about a birthday cake, and hugs and love, and family and friends, its also about reflections and introspection's, about taking a pause and mulling about ‘Why was I born”
Birthdays come once a year, knocking on your door and even if you opt not to open it, they somehow make it in!!! Sometimes the day is unusual, sometimes it is a dreaded knock especially when you leave behind the 20's!? For me, I would rather hear the knock than no knock at all!!!!!
In life, I have had many chapters I dream of -some I failed at, some I accomplished, some I'm still trying to reach. I've stumbled along the way, I've leaned on family and friends, I've used my instincts and gut feelings, been spontaneous, took my chances. But never can I regret any part of my living years.
My mistakes have made me stronger, my accomplishments have given me joy and laughter, my pain has taught me lessons, my heart has grown humble.
On my birthday, I reflected on my past, also saw some reflections of my future. I was part somber and part bursting with life. I was amidst family and friends. And faced two reality checks: the First- the rains have always brought on the blues for me on my birth date, and this birthday it didn't rain a drop for the first time - definite reason to worry about climate changes. the Second- the accident shook me bad but also made me glad that I was alive and breathing and living well. Made me count my blessings and knock on wood for the love of so many who keep me blanketed against disruptions
Who knows how the next birthday will be...I do not make advance plans, I do not like advance wishes, I do not wish to be gifted but would love a hug and blessings anytime, as much as at times the phone beep and non stop ringing may create a frown of irritation on my forehead, my God, I'd miss it sorely if that did not happen on my birthday:)
Happy Birthday to all of you sometime this year (except for the leap year B-days)....May you find joy in your special day and peace the following days.
